Stop asking for feedback.. Instead, do this..!

Being part of corporates my whole professional career, we are always instructed to ask for feedback. As part of our yearly appraisal or promotions, asking and giving feedback was always an activity we did without fail. Throughout my career, I was made to believe that asking for feedback is critical because that's how we learn and grow. 
Looking back at those feedbacks, I see that most of them were vague and unactionable comments on what I did well or what went wrong in the past. For eg: Most feedbacks were "You did well in X project" or You could have done better in Y. The feedback did give me insights on what I can improve but not on how I could improve or do better in the future. Hence, it was unactionable, so I tend to ignore them, which is the case with many of us.
Elon Musk says...

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.”

If what Elon Musk says is true, feedback should help me do better in the future. But the feedbacks I received were ineffective, and I realized there was something fundamentally wrong with how we asked for feedback. 
So I started researching how to make giving and taking feedback more effective.
During my research, I was shocked to learn that feedback has little impact on our performance. Over one-third of the time, it negatively impacts performance.

For women, in particular, feedback can be unhelpful. Studies found that, compared to men, women received feedback less likely to be tied to business outcomes and more vague and challenging to implement.

So, Why is feedback so ineffective? The main reason is that it is backward-looking. When someone gives you feedback, they are reflecting on your past behavior (the annual performance appraisal, the sales quarter that just passed, or the presentation you wrapped up). This makes feedback ineffective as all that you will hear is how you did well or did wrong and not what you can do better in the future. 
Now it all made sense to me. This was the exact reason I found the feedback I received unactionable. So then, what should we do? Should we stop asking for feedback?
Research from Harvard Business School says that ask for advice; they found that asking for advice leads one to think about future actions that the person should take. Haven't you noticed that when we ask for advice, people will think critically and give us strategies to improve?
When you're in the early stages of your career, it's good to know where you went wrong or what's lacking in your performance. But it's equally important to know how to improve it. So focus on asking for advice while asking for feedback.

Here are some tips to get effective advice:

Tip 1. Be specific.

When asking for advice, be specific on what you need advise about to make it more useful. Eg: If you would like to know how your presentation went, rather than asking how did my presentation go? What is your advice to do these presentations better? How would you have done it better? The more specific you are while asking for advice the better actionable responses you will get.
Also, ask future-oriented questions like will improving my communication, body language or the powerpoint will help me in future presentations? Or "What could I do better next time? Now you will receive advice that can help you improve in the future instead of focusing on the past. 

Tip 2. Go that extra mile.. Ask further

 If someone gives you vague unactionable feedback such as "You did amazing" or "You could do better," don't just stop the conversation there. Go that extra mile and ask further to get the advice you need. You can ask, "What specifically did I do well?" or "What is one thing I can do better next time?" Asking to give more details will ensure the feedback you receive is more actionable and helpful for future. 
That brings me to the last and most crucial tip .. Which is..

Tip 3. Ask the right person.

When you ask for advice, you may feel that the more people you ask, the better because that gives multiple perspectives. But research has found that receiving too many pieces of different advice often makes us more likely to ignore it, as many of the responses will conflict and leave us confused. 
And when the person you ask for advice knows that you are requesting multiple people they may also not make an effort to give you real actionable feedback. coz they aren't sure how much you will implement over other people's opinions.
So always find an expert in the area you need advice on, and ask them for guidance. Most of us tend to ask for guidance from those we are comfortable with, like our family and friends. But they might not be the experts. Reach out to the experts and ask for advise. Those future-oriented insights will give you the direction and insights that you can implement. 
So I changed my feedback forms to have more future-oriented questions that will probe the advise-giver to think and give me actionable insights. And now, the feedback I receive are super helpful for me because the feedbacks are future-oriented, insightful and actionable. 

Good advice can be transformative. By asking the right question, you can get actionable insights that will change your future.

So rather than just asking for feedback, also ask for advice.

I am Sajna Samad, and this is the Catalyze Your Career Newsletter. I am a Jay Shetty Certified Life coach focusing on Self-Mastery and Career. I coach young aspiring professionals and new women leaders to stand out in the crowd by helping them create a Unique Selling Personality and Personal Brand.
If you want to know how you can catalyze your career, let's hop on a call and decide how to work together. DM me for more details.
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